Job Update: You're Fired

This week was a speed run on how to lose your job, so where should we begin?

Option 1: Illegal gambaling

Option 2: Saying a racial slur

Option 3: Mocking disabled people

Option 4: Sexual assault

But there’s a twist: One of these options actually didn’t result in the person getting fired at all…

🗞 The Big Story

Content Warning: Sexual assault

In April of 2022, Matt Araiza was the man. In fact, he was more than “the man” he was “the Punt God.”

The Buffalo Bills had just selected him with the 180th overall pick, a rarity for his position as a punter, but for good reason, as Araiza displayed his booming leg in an August 13th preseason game with an 82-yard punt.

But just two weeks later Araiza was released from the Bills after a lawsuit was filed accusing him of participating in a gang-rape of a then 17-year-old girl.

Two of Araiza’s college teammates, Zavier Leonard and Nowlin Ewaliko, were also cited in the case in which the girl alleged that at least three other men repeatedly raped her for 1.5 hours.

Now, before we go any further here I want to echo a sentiment shared by fellow creator Blaiden Kirk and say that we should always err on the side of the victim in cases like this so as to not discourage other victims from sharing their stories.

But videos recovered from that night as well as witness testimony show that Araiza actually left the party about an hour before the time of the alleged crime.

And Araiza is no longer being charged with any criminal wrongdoing.

Which leaves us with just one question: Is Matt Ariza’s career still over?

Well, his attorney says that several teams have been in contact with the once highly touted punting prospect but as of right now, Ariza remains unsigned.

But if the NFL has shown us anything, it’s that they don’t have a problem signing people who have actually been convicted of crimes.

So I’m sure Ariza will find his way back on a roster sometime soon…

⚾️ Pete Rose 2.0

You know that friend that’s such a degenerate gambler that he’s trying to tell you to get in on his bets for third-division Lituatian Volleyball?

Well, a few steps up from that friend is the guy who bets on college baseball.

But wait, it gets worse:

On Friday, April 28th, the University of Alabama headed to Baton Rouge to play the consensus number 1 team in the country, LSU.

Now, Friday nights for college baseball are usually when you throw your best pitcher but at the last minute, the pitcher scheduled to go for Alabama was scratched from the line-up due to back tightness.

That’s when Alabama’s coach, Brad Bohannon, decided to go with a sophomore who hadn’t pitched in a game since March 16th instead.

Now, the Crimson Tide would trail most of the game 8-1, after their new starting pitcher gave up 4 runs in just 3 innings off of 3 hits, 2 of which were home runs.

But Alabama did manage to rally for 4 runs in the top of the ninth to make the final score a respectable 8-6.

But after the game, it wasn’t the late-inning comeback that made the news - instead, it was the fact that during the game sports books across the country had shut down betting on any Alabama college baseball game.

This was triggered after a suspicious wager was placed on Friday’s game which included a parlay and a straight-up money line bet on favorite LSU to win.

Now, this bet was suspicious for a couple of reasons:

First, is the fact that pretty much no one bets on college baseball.

Especially not the significant amount that was reported to have been bet on this game.

In fact, ESPN reports that FanDuel didn’t take a single bet on the game - which means any bet of any amount would have raised some red flags.

And so, when an Ohio sports book had a guy walk in and place two bets on Alabama to lose they immediately contacted gambling authorities and shut down betting on Alabama baseball across the state - which resulted in other states doing the same.

And upon review of security footage and phone records, it was reviled that the man placing the bet had been making calls to Baton Rouge and that Alabama Coach, Brad Bohannon had been making calls to Cincinnati.

Now, it’s unclear how much Bohannon was actually trying to rig the game in his favor or if he just tried to make some money off of the inside information that his star pitcher wouldn’t be playing.

But regardless, this man was dumb enough to be the only dude in the entire country to bet on his game - and his bet almost didn’t even win…

📉 Daddy’s Home

Earlier this week Barstool Sport’s personality, Ben Mintz was fired for saying a racial slur while reading the lyrics to “1st of tha Month” by Bone Thugs N Harmony.

The long and short of it is that Mintz was immediately fired due to pressure from Barstool’s parent company Penn, even though Dave Portnoy and Barstool CEO Erika Nardini said if it was up to them they wouldn’t have fired him for the “honest mistake.”

The next day, Penn’s stock dropped 13% which many Barstool fans attributed to Mintz’s firing, although it had also come out this week that Penn missed on its earnings per share in Q1.

Portnoy’s message when his fans started calling him a sellout: “You’re damn right”

😰 Uh, Can You Say That?

Go check out the Paralympics TikTok account and decide for yourself…

Some people don’t like that disabled people are being used as the butt of the joke.

Others think this kind of content brings great awareness to Paralympic athletes.

For the record, the account is run by a former Paralympic athlete with full support from the International Paralympic Committee.

👋 God, I hope I treaded all of these waters carefully… see you next Friday!